Pastor Bob DuPar
April 30, 2008
Journal Entry
Scripture
Judges 11:1-12:15; John 1:1-28; Psalm 101:1-8; Proverbs 14:13-14.
Observation
Jephthah was sounding like a pretty sharp guy until he made that crazy vow to God. I can’t even imagine! And, his daughter sounds incredibly supportive and understanding. I want to hear what the mom/wife had to say about this impulsive, foolish vow.
I love the pronunciation test in Judges 12:5-6 for determining whether someone was a true Ephraimite or not. I think we should come up with our own version of this for the church – something like, “Can you say, ‘Jesus is God?” Or, “The Bible is divinely inspired & inerrant?” And, if the person stutters or hesitates – they are weeded out.
The NT reading looked vaguely familiar. I think I’ve read it before or heard it in a sermon series somewhere!
Proverbs 14:13 struck me as profoundly deep: “Even in laughter the heart may ache.” There are a lot of people that hide a lot of hurt with a pretty smile or a cheerful front. And, my point is not to direct judgment to these people but rather to alert the rest of us to make efforts to probe beneath the surface – to engage people beyond the superficial.
Application
I need to strive to get to know people well enough that when they are hurting or struggling I can discern that and perhaps love them and be sensitive to them. People all too often put on a happy face because they believe it’s what others expect of them, or because it’s easier than opening up about deep hurt or messy personal issues.
Prayer
“God, help me to know when to probe deeper in relationships and conversations. Help me to take the time to truly listen. May I communicate that I care – by words and also in silence.”
posted by Bob DuPar @ 11:17 PM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
This post touched a chord in me, so pardon my process. But when you say,
"And, my point is not to direct judgment to these people but rather to alert the rest of us to...",
do you realize that you are doing exactly what you say you don't want to do... directing judgment?
I clearly see your good intentions. But your phrasing... well, who is it that hasn't had hurt? I've never thought to be "on alert" for "these people". Heck, I've always been one of "them". Even you or particularly you, in view of your vocation, are likely to be one of "them".
Having pain doesn't make us deficient, different, or someone to be feared. Having pain means we are human and alive. It means we are courageous enough to be vulnerable. And, it is in the depths of our pain that we see the limits of our humanness and learn to trust God.
Some of "us" share hurt deeply at the drop of a hat. Some of "us" hide skillfully behind our role or vocation. Others prefer the give and take approach... "I'll share some of my pain, if you'll risk the same with me." And still some of "us" will stuff our hurts until the cows come home.
I pray that as God grows me I will gain wisdom and discernment to more carefully handle the hearts in my life. It's painful when someone engages you, you open up to them, yet they walk away, either literally or figuratively. It can painfully leave you wondering whether they found you just a bit too messy or were uncomfortable with your brokenness.
Thank you for your closing prayer. It's one worth remembering.
Your points are very well taken and well-thought out. I guess I don't see it as directing judgment as much as I see it as an encouragement to go deeper with people. I agree with you in that we have to respect the comfort levels of others in regard to opening up. And, we can't expect others to open up if we ourselves are not also vulnerable.
I don't follow the inference that I was suggesting people are deficient for having hurt. We all have it. It's not an us vs. them mentality. We will all find ourselves in a place where we're hurting and need others to love us and listen, or just respect our silence.
I was saying that I don't judge others for putting on a happy face. We all do it from time to time; and, I understand why we do it. All I was saying is that sometimes we need someone to draw us out of the hidden hurt - with permission.
Us versus them dichotomy came from from your comment,
"And, my point is not to direct judgment to "THESE PEOPLE" but rather to alert "THE REST OF US" to..."
The inference then came as a result of the dichotomy. "THESE PEOPLE" who have pain and put on a smile to hide it versus "THE REST OF US" who do not.
Never mind. It's not all not that important. You're loved. It was 4:00 am when I wrote the darn thing and I was just processing. We all have our "filters" through which we view life. Blessings.
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